I have a Filipina friend in security
here onboard Celebrity Silhouette and she often stops by the Photo
Gallery for a chat. She has many children, some of whom have their
own children and some that she is still needing to support through
their education. The money that my friend can make on ship is much
more than that at home and it is her culture to go away and work for
your family if that's what is needed. However having just got back
from vacation she told me that her children are asking her to stay
home now, her oldest is offering to help support the youngest so Mum
can stay home.
Honestly these situations upset me
every time. There are so many people working on ships because it is
their culture to leave to provide the best for their family and they
hate to hear me to say I would never let my partner leave me alone to
raise a family, children need both parents in my opinion. But then I
see their pain at being away, my colleagues hoping for long vacations
to be with their kids, and now I see my friend's family asking for
her to stay home... it looks to me like the culture is changing. The
image of the modern family is a global one.
So my friend tells me how she is ready
to be home and she explains it to me in terms of balance. She says
that for too many years now she has been missing out on four of the
five areas of life that give you good balance.
I had to investigate further, and there
are some variations but the five areas seem to be: work (the only one
my friend thinks she has been focusing on), spirituality, mind, body
and relationships. My friend's spirituality is such that she should
worship god on a Saturday which is not possible onboard, she
explained that this is one important thing she's looking forward to
getting back to alongside her family of course.
So naturally this conversation got me
thinking about myself and how balanced I am.
Work. For certain it is a big
part of what I've been doing for the past two years because I live in
my place of work. Does that tip the balance a little bit? I guess so,
but I wanted to be here and try this all encompassing work culture
because 9 to 5, 5 days a week did not make me happy, and in
Australia, and going forward I might have to do that again. I've
never been able to tip the balance 100% to work, my head is too far
in the clouds for that!
Mind. I have certainly not lost
this balance and never will, why do you think I'm writing this? I'm
always learning and thinking and planning. And in terms of work, I
haven't been working to bring in the money (like my friend), I took
this job to learn and grow in an area I'm passionate about, my work
has been able to stimulate my mind, although that is slowing now, and
why it is time to leave. I definitely have enough balance in this
area, and sometimes it is the area taking over. I can be very single
minded when I want something and I pretty much over think everything
(as you are currently reading)!
Body. Probably the toughest area
for me. About 4 years ago I was the fattest and most miserable I'd
ever been in my life. There were other factors to the misery but I
got the time to focus on my weight and with the help of the diet plan
Lighter Life, I went from a size 22 to 12 (English sizes) in 6
months. I kept it off for almost two years. I even learned to like
some forms of exercise. Today I'm nearly all the way back up at a
size 20 and get exhausted climbing one flight of stairs. Ship life
tipped the balance away from body temporarily and in this area I am
weak. I need to bring the balance back somehow and still be able to
travel and take on the demanding roles that I love.
Spirituality. This is the area I
have the least to say in. I don't believe in any religions. I
actually think religions appear to be the problem in a lot of the
worlds conflicts. Sometimes I feel like I believe in fate, or that
things happen for a reason and I know that there are many
explanations and interpretations of spirituality but nothing has
really settled as an explanation in my mind. As and when something
does I'm sure I will let you know on here, but in the mean time I
guess I'm misbalanced in terms of a little bit empty in this area.
Relationships. Going back to my
friend's understanding, yes relationships are off balance on ship,
once at home a lot more time can be put in. However in the last two
years that my relationships with people have been forced into change,
some have improved greatly or are new, some have been able to stay
the same, and others unfortunately drifted. I think with
relationships there are always going to be 'things' going on, I was
never going away forever and that is why some have stayed the same.
It is incredibly important to understand that in the last 2 years I
got happier and more confident in myself and that is why some
relationships have improved. It looks like putting time into yourself
can be just as important as putting the time in with your friends and
family, they see the benefit either way. I am leaving ships with the
intention of focusing my relationship balance on one person in
particular (sorry Jr I'm writing about you again!) because the life
we want to live going forward doesn't involve ships so I'm ready to
get on and try something different, confident that my friends and
family understand.
I'd like to thank my new writer friend
Ivonne Garcia for inspiring me to write something like this and I
will return to photo stories soon.
I really liked this post! Thank YOU, your work is a real inspiration for me :)
ReplyDeleteAs for the balance, precisely today I was telling someone that it just happens that balance is almost impossible to achieve, there wil always be something missing in your life, somehow that's what keeps you going, that's what living is about. It's like being an acrobat. Hugs!